“For everything that lives is holy, life delights in life.” William Blake
Last week seasonal fog trapped dense wildfire smoke, blanketing San Francisco Bay in an eerie deep orange glow. This photo was taken at noon on September 9 and the darkness lasted all day. In our art studio the preternatural dimness was disturbing. Is our very atmosphere now a threat? Back home that evening, braving the pervasive gloom in the garden, I came upon a single gardenia blossom. A friend. The air quality outside may be the worst in the world right now, but here in my office the scent from this flower calms my every fear.
So, is this just magical thinking? Handy childish denial? Or can pure delight offered by a tiny bloom offer solace when so much around us threatens? I don’t know.
In creative endeavors it is okay “not to know.” The best ideas come from the unknowing place. I write from this place now. The gloom and unsafe air, these are alarming. We cannot make the air clear. We must protect ourselves. But must we also retract and harden our edge? Can we find a way to melt that edge, to open, to bloom despite the grave limitations of Covid, inequity, and environmental disaster?
Let’s explore what is known as confirmation bias: the baked in mechanism causing humans to harden beliefs. Before the pandemic, while hiking I found myself ticking off things as I trekked past, listing the known: poison oak; likely areas for rattlesnakes; loose rocks; tender ferns; blackberries about to ripen. Seeking to confirm. A habit. Confirmation bias is our tendency to reinforce existing beliefs, to confirm we are right. Or safe. Or smart. Again, a way to “be what we have already been, do what we have already done.” On that hike I felt the lifelessness of my listmaking. I made myself stand still. Does this habit serve me?
Where is the wonder?
From the beginning, humans could discern, and from discernment conclude, and from conclusion choose behavior. This ability ensured survival. The practical use of discernment leads to safe choices. But our tendency to confirm our biases can become a way to subconsciously enhance our sense of self, our superior perspective, and lead to a closed mind. We seek safety… but we create separation when we harden our beliefs using confirmation bias. I hope to find a way to melt the hard edge, the strict outline of right and wrong, good and bad, between myself and the ‘other.’
If this sounds like magical thinking, then welcome to my world. In the unknowing place magic happens all the time.
Melting the edge is a practice, a relief valve that eases our reactive self. Meditation, contemplation and research help us view embedded beliefs and heavily defended perspectives that fail to serve us in times of unprecedented change. I want to communicate with friends who support Trump, to explore shared ground with new Black friends, to acknowledge the surface tension of differences, both real and perceived. But am I brave enough to go deeper, and will I increase resistance in the process? We must reveal our vulnerability; explore the unspoken, in ourselves and with others. We must be willing to not know.
My gardenia is wilting, but her rich scent, an undeniable emanation of presence, reminds me to bloom without judgment, to share freely my delight. As William Blake said, “For everything that lives is holy, life delights in life.”
When designing colors or patterns I seek wisdom from signs and portents and understand how not to know. But in conversation with people, even friends, I often interrupt, quick to demonstrate my perspective, ticking off a list of things already known rather than listening. This is everyday confirmation bias! Again, what is so precious about what we have known? Wonder and illumination exists beyond what we know…
Despite the long week inside, the scent of the gardenia persists. She guides me to look within, to do the good work required to learn to listen. When others share their fears, their hopes, be humble. Hear. Step one in melting my own edge.
In the meantime let us welcome the unexpected, greet the small blessings around us. Find a blossom in the gloom, return a kind smile at the grocery, be grateful for a warm hand upon our own. Imagine the scent of your favorite flower when you are facing difficult conversations, or rehearsing ways to deliver uncomfortable news. When weary or afraid, bring the idea of the scent with you into the shower and drench yourself with delight. Why not? Renewal is essential in times like these.
Take heart and do the important work ahead. Explore the unspoken, become familiar with your unknowing place. Connect as best you can with those who might call you ‘other.’ Let’s acknowledge that divergence exists; investigate our part in the dissonance; and nurture those around us, beginning with ourselves.
Dear Reader, this post is Part 2 of Widen the Lens, Greet the Light, an exploration of our culture, this moment, and how to meet the challenges therein. How are you making your way through these many months? If you have resources you find helpful, please share them in the comments section. I will check them out before I craft How to Be Human: Greet the Light and Widen the Lens, Part 3. We are in this together.
Resources:
I recently began listening to Tara Brach, a Buddhist teacher listed below. I find her voice and her wisdom easy to receive and her humor makes learning fun.
“Bay in Darkness” copyrighted photo by Richard Snyder
Tara Brach: Letting Go of Judgment
https://www.tarabrach.com/letting-go-of-judgment/
Benefits of Being Open-Minded
https://www.verywellmind.com/be-more-open-minded-4690673
The Way of Imagination, Essays on Environment and Spirituality
by Scott Russell Sanders
https://www.amazon.com/Way-Imagination-Scott-Russell-Sanders/dp/1640093656
How White Women Can Be Better Black Lives Matter Allies
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2020/06/how-white-women-can-be-better-black-lives-matter-allies
Death and Grief during Covid
https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2020/08/jesmyn-ward-on-husbands-death-and-grief-during-covid
Tara Brach on Apple Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tara-brach/id265264862?mt=2
Thank you Elisa as always for your thoughtful writings. I am always moved by them. Interestingly I watched a webinar by Tara Brach yesterday on the recommendation of another friend. Thank you for this list of resources. This kind of support is so helpful during these uncertain times.
I miss our hikes!
Sending love your way.
Thank you Elisa. So much food for thought.
Elisa,
I had never read or heard the expression “confirmation bias” before.
It makes so much sense to me.
But we have to get out of our comfort zone.
I appreciate your thoughts and comments.
Thanks much.
Dave
How beautifully expressed. To relate was so easy for me because during these days when our comfort zone is being challenged with pandemic, fires and separation from friends, my garden was my refuge. Nothing is more soothing than nature’s beauty. Open your eyes and your heart to heal. My love and thanks!
Marc on September 19, 2020 at 5:45pm
Elisa, dear friend, thank you for sharing your thoughts. These are strange new times, full of old problems
now made even more manifest. Fires, floods, diseases, the loss of faith in government, and more, all tending to
exacerbate our fears.
Your post helps to remind us that the antidote to fear is beauty and hope, even if we need to look harder to see and
experience them in darkening skies. I feel like an old man these days–which I am!–but one who is just beginning
to see things which my younger self never noticed.
A poignant reminder and so beautifully written, my magical friend. Thank you for opening your heart to the world and showing us the way.
Your words, your flower, your delightful presence reminds us of the renewal that takes place at Rosh Hashana…..a week of introspection and starting anew with
hope and expectation.
Thank you, I needed this essay right now.
As someone dealing very much with the unknown, this rings true 🙂 Love you.
Hello my friend. These are dark times we are living, but thank God for you bringing in the sunshine!
We all need to uplift each other and be grateful for everything and everybody.
Love, your KC friend, Sharon
Thank you for sharing this beautiful message.